Funny story found on internet - Virginity

[P1nk]

My first time was the worst, i was 13 years old i had to go out in the middle of nowhere to find the chicks house at 1 am, then she told me to grab a box of condoms at some store in middle of night, i couldn't even find them so i asked the people working there and they directed me to the condoms, needless to say i bought them and spent another hour finding her house, at last it was found the holy grail, the pussy i long dreamed of.

10 mins later my pants were off and she felt my cock and said "Is that it?" i was like wut.. no ... it's still growing and she said "oh.. ok" -- [ it actually finished growing lol ] ( Fail 1. )

We're ****ing and the condom keeps slipping off ( Fail 2. condom was XLARGE )

Finally got with the rhythm and kept on going, while we were ****ing she was on the phone with another guy moaning for him trying to get him off while he was masturbating, and told me to stay quiet so he doesn't know i'm here. ( Fail 3. )

I Finally came, she was like "oh you did??" I didn't know she wanted me to stick it in her mouth and blow my load. ( Fail 4. )

I took out my dick and the condom was lost within her pussy, i was like.. uhh... it's gone. so she stuck her entire hand in and brought it out, "there" ( Fail 5. )

She told me to take the condoms with me so her parents wouldn't find them including the one i came in ( Fail 6. )

She said i had to leave shortly after at 4 in the morning, and i had school too, so what I'm completely ****ed now? I was stuck in the darkness who knows were so what do i do, call my dad for a ride in the middle of the night/morning ( Fail 7. )

Told him my friend is moving and everyone had to go or some lame excuse, i threw the condom in her boat b4 i left for revenge on what she made me go through though.

Since that day i have ****ed a few other women, but i have done it over 20 times and i am the master of sex, i can make your woman come over 10 times in minutes. Thank you for your time, and you may now laugh at me.

Highlights:

Middle of night at a store trying to find condoms with my 13 year voice that sounded like a girl, asked clerk to direct me to them.

My personal favorite: "Is that it?"

Talking on cell phone with another guy while we're ****ing to get him off without him knowing im there.

Condom lost in vagina.

Makes me leave right after in the middle of the night.

Called my daddy.

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Fail 5 had me in stitches

[Animal]

LOL im doneee

[Raided]

Ha, what a failure.

[Roma]

Ha, what a failure.

[Sean``]

ha

[Andrew]

well thats a first

[Swag]

LOL win.

[SPECED TIME]

LOL im doneee

[Nxjr]

loool

[Fears BFF]

Whats a condom? Im new to this stuff

[Fred]

13? lie

[vult]

pregnant at 16 with 2 kids already

[Jonny]

l0l0l0ll0l0l0l0ll :D

[longest yard]

if i was you taht wouldnt be a failure id be raping her hard making her screaaaaaaaaaam

[Veta]

wtf I told u to keep this a secret... what the fuck bro

[Tony]

lol

[Eric]

copy paste much?