Women Jokes.

[Tap U Hard]

*Disclaimer*
These are for the pure sake of comedy, I do not condone sexist beliefs but find it germane that these are a great source of laughter.

So, I get through Cal 2 class by cracking these with my friends, I hope you enjoy, if you have ones to add, leave them and i'll edit.

Why can't women ski?
-Theres no snow on the way from the kitchen to the bedroom.

What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
-Nothing, she's already been told twice.

Why did God create sandwiches?
-So women would have a purpose in life.

What's the difference between a wife and a dog?
-The dog doesn't whine when you lock him in the kitchen.

Why don't women wear watches?
-Because theres a clock on the stove.

Why did the women cross the road?
-WAIT. Who let her out of the kitchen?

Why do women have short feet?
-So they can stand closer to the stove.

What is the difference between a battery and a women?
-The battery has a positive side.

Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon?
-It doesn't need cleaning yet.

What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?
-You hit her.

Why do women live longer than men?
-Because God adds them the time that they wasted on parking.

A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?
-The man, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

Why did God create men first?
-He didn't want a women to try to tell him how to do it.

What is the useless skin around the vagina called?
-The woman.

Why did the feminist cross the road?
-To suck my dick.

How can you tell if your wife is dead?
-The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.


^From Tragic



~Questions, Comments, Concerns, Anger Issues.

[SkidooosH]

haha

How do you turn your dishwasher into a snow blower?

Throw the bitch a shovel

[Jim]

Don't fuck with the Smyth!

[I C0NN0R I]

What's the quickest way to a man's heart?

-With a knife she got from the kitchen.

that one sucks, should be removed.

[Malcriado]

I agree with Connor, that one FAILED.

And you have one repeated twice.

[k1dstrenqth]

A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?

-The man, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

repeated twice :P

Other then tht fking hilarious XD

[Kieran|oInitiate_o]

:lol: Lmao at jokes!

[Tap U Hard]

I agree with Connor, that one FAILED.

And you have one repeated twice.

suck up to GFX, nice.

[SkidooosH]

I agree with Connor, that one FAILED.

And you have one repeated twice.

suck up to GFX, nice.

lol'd.

and so what if 1 wasn't funny or he repeated, just let it slide

as for me i laughed my ass off

[Berniej]

I agree with Connor, that one FAILED.

And you have one repeated twice.

suck up to GFX, nice.

Lol? That made no sense at all.

People can't have an own opinion without sucking up to somebody?

[Zany]

some good ones, pretty avg/heard before ones though :p

[I Z 0 N 3]

I agree with Connor, that one FAILED.

And you have one repeated twice.

suck up to GFX, nice.

Lol? That made no sense at all.

People can't have an own opinion without sucking up to somebody?

Nope, i like skidoosh's one haha

[Berniej]

I agree with Connor, that one FAILED.

And you have one repeated twice.

suck up to GFX, nice.

Lol? That made no sense at all.

People can't have an own opinion without sucking up to somebody?

Nope, i like skidoosh's one haha

So what it looks like

[Ultra]

Why do women live longer than men?

-Because God adds them the time that they wasted on parking.

:nice:

[Lat]

nice

[Tap U Hard]

I agree with Connor, that one FAILED.

And you have one repeated twice.

suck up to GFX, nice.

Lol? That made no sense at all.

People can't have an own opinion without sucking up to somebody?

Nah i've just read his other posts about begging to be a gfx and asking to get rank before gfx reqs earlier Berniej because his work is so amazing. And it bugs me when my New Replies is flooded with him bumping his own thread pointlessly because he wants attention.

I do concede, and completely agree with you and your morals, as expressed in your own signature, everyone has a voice and a person is nothing if they don't use it, but when you're copying someones else, virtually a +1, I see it as pathetic waste of brain power.

This kid is perfectly entitled to his opinions, as I am simply voicing my own opinion that i believe he can't think for himself because he's 12 and has a sig of a squirtle and tweetie which allows him to thinks he's hot shit.

As for I Connor I, being such a reputable troll, and a very strong willed person (thank you for acknowledging my real manness on the katalyst sig post) I have taken his comment to heart and deleted the joke, for this is a serious topic, and matter in itself.

Anything else?

[Nintey Jr]

epic

[Tap U Hard]

epic

Can I have your MA rank? please?

[I C0NN0R I]

"reputable troll"

i like it.

[Kofte]

Why do women live longer than men?

-Because God adds them the time that they wasted on parking.

Haha funniest one

[gfdgfd]

I agree with Connor, that one FAILED.

And you have one repeated twice.

suck up to GFX, nice.

Lol? That made no sense at all.

People can't have an own opinion without sucking up to somebody?

Nah i've just read his other posts about begging to be a gfx and asking to get rank before gfx reqs earlier Berniej because his work is so amazing. And it bugs me when my New Replies is flooded with him bumping his own thread pointlessly because he wants attention.

I do concede, and completely agree with you and your morals, as expressed in your own signature, everyone has a voice and a person is nothing if they don't use it, but when you're copying someones else, virtually a +1, I see it as pathetic waste of brain power.

This kid is perfectly entitled to his opinions, as I am simply voicing my own opinion that i believe he can't think for himself because he's 12 and has a sig of a squirtle and tweetie which allows him to thinks he's hot shit.

As for I Connor I, being such a reputable troll, and a very strong willed person (thank you for acknowledging my real manness on the katalyst sig post) I have taken his comment to heart and deleted the joke, for this is a serious topic, and matter in itself.

Anything else?

Pokemon is one of the most popular TV programmes ever made, by adults and children, not so much adults, apart from in Japan, there is nothing wrong with liking Pokemon, i think everybody has probably played the Pokemon games on the gameboy, and will agree theyre good fun games, if you don't like Pokemon, whatever, but why does that then make him a 12 year old? Gotta agree with you on Tweety though, Tweety is pretty damn gay.

[Jim]

I agree with Connor, that one FAILED.

And you have one repeated twice.

suck up to GFX, nice.

Lol? That made no sense at all.

People can't have an own opinion without sucking up to somebody?

Nah i've just read his other posts about begging to be a gfx and asking to get rank before gfx reqs earlier Berniej because his work is so amazing. And it bugs me when my New Replies is flooded with him bumping his own thread pointlessly because he wants attention.

I do concede, and completely agree with you and your morals, as expressed in your own signature, everyone has a voice and a person is nothing if they don't use it, but when you're copying someones else, virtually a +1, I see it as pathetic waste of brain power.

This kid is perfectly entitled to his opinions, as I am simply voicing my own opinion that i believe he can't think for himself because he's 12 and has a sig of a squirtle and tweetie which allows him to thinks he's hot shit.

As for I Connor I, being such a reputable troll, and a very strong willed person (thank you for acknowledging my real manness on the katalyst sig post) I have taken his comment to heart and deleted the joke, for this is a serious topic, and matter in itself.

Anything else?

Pokemon is one of the most popular TV programmes ever made, by adults and children, not so much adults, apart from in Japan, there is nothing wrong with liking Pokemon, i think everybody has probably played the Pokemon games on the gameboy, and will agree theyre good fun games, if you don't like Pokemon, whatever, but why does that then make him a 12 year old? Gotta agree with you on Tweety though, Tweety is pretty damn gay.

He is 12. He has said it in about20 different posts.

Also, santa isn't real.  :Hi:

[Berniej]

I agree with Connor, that one FAILED.

And you have one repeated twice.

suck up to GFX, nice.

Lol? That made no sense at all.

People can't have an own opinion without sucking up to somebody?

Nah i've just read his other posts about begging to be a gfx and asking to get rank before gfx reqs earlier Berniej because his work is so amazing. And it bugs me when my New Replies is flooded with him bumping his own thread pointlessly because he wants attention.

I do concede, and completely agree with you and your morals, as expressed in your own signature, everyone has a voice and a person is nothing if they don't use it, but when you're copying someones else, virtually a +1, I see it as pathetic waste of brain power.

This kid is perfectly entitled to his opinions, as I am simply voicing my own opinion that i believe he can't think for himself because he's 12 and has a sig of a squirtle and tweetie which allows him to thinks he's hot shit.

As for I Connor I, being such a reputable troll, and a very strong willed person (thank you for acknowledging my real manness on the katalyst sig post) I have taken his comment to heart and deleted the joke, for this is a serious topic, and matter in itself.

Anything else?

Oh I see, then a bad shot from my corner then.

Just the way you said it made it sound really cocky.

But now I can understand lol, have had that often myself.

And yeah, speak up to your opinion, like the way how you discuss :).

People tend to get agressive fast when in a discussion.

[Tap U Hard]

I agree with Connor, that one FAILED.

And you have one repeated twice.

suck up to GFX, nice.

Lol? That made no sense at all.

People can't have an own opinion without sucking up to somebody?

Nah i've just read his other posts about begging to be a gfx and asking to get rank before gfx reqs earlier Berniej because his work is so amazing. And it bugs me when my New Replies is flooded with him bumping his own thread pointlessly because he wants attention.

I do concede, and completely agree with you and your morals, as expressed in your own signature, everyone has a voice and a person is nothing if they don't use it, but when you're copying someones else, virtually a +1, I see it as pathetic waste of brain power.

This kid is perfectly entitled to his opinions, as I am simply voicing my own opinion that i believe he can't think for himself because he's 12 and has a sig of a squirtle and tweetie which allows him to thinks he's hot shit.

As for I Connor I, being such a reputable troll, and a very strong willed person (thank you for acknowledging my real manness on the katalyst sig post) I have taken his comment to heart and deleted the joke, for this is a serious topic, and matter in itself.

Anything else?

Oh I see, then a bad shot from my corner then.

Just the way you said it made it sound really cocky.

But now I can understand lol, have had that often myself.

And yeah, speak up to your opinion, like the way how you discuss :).

People tend to get agressive fast when in a discussion.

It's cool man, yeah I feel the same way, if you just get mad over the internet and let it get to you you just look like an irrational, illiterate, cocky dumb ass, but you have to stand for something and say it already.

[Taken]

LOL this definatly made my day.